Expat Groups...Have No Axe, Will Not Grind

Miss T, writes in a comment:

"Did you have a bad experience Yanqui Mike?
I haven't gone to any meetings yet, but belong to the yahoo group for BA expats. Most of the time I find the info helpful, but there are times when people go on and on about freakin' peanut butter or where to get orange juice, it can get a bit tedious. But I am looking forward to meeting quite a few of the members when I get back to town!"

No, no, no! As hard as I tried in wording the last post, I could not avoid sounding like someone with an axe to grind. There is no axe and even if there was I wouldn't grind it.

I used to spend a little time with one of the big ones here in town, then I dabbled with another group, and now I'm a very infrequent visitor with another that I like very much.

I'm just generally fascinated with the dynamics of these orgs. What's it like for the organizers and the core of people that never leave...because the vast majority show up once and never come back.

I never derived much benefit from them...but I sure had fun on occasion. Most of the time, actually. But I think that some people find love, money, salvation, everything...and others either detest these groups or destest the idea of even thinking of involving themselves.

Another thing that keeps my eye on this phenom is "The Brick Wall." It is well known among expats and the sociologists that study them that an expat that stays in a country for more than 5 years is rather unlikely to return to the country of their birth. By the same token, any expat that has been in-country for less than 5 years, no matter how fancy their patter, stands a much better than average chance of going back.

Even further, there are two classes of expat in any country: the long-termers and the short-termers. These two groups tend not to associate with each other. That's really fascinating to me.

The long-termers will tell you that it breaks their hearts not to even begin relationships with people that have not been in town for long...even when they look like good prospects for staying. They say it's just too painful to "break-up" after developing a relationship, even with all the promises of visiting and constant contact through email and such. The short-termers will tell you stories of unexplainable "cold-shoulders" from long-term people that they really hit it off with. I'm not just refering to singles, these comments are more likely to come from couples looking another couple to pal around with.

Personally, I don't fall in either group. I'm fully comfortable with other people's feelings either way and, even though I have plans to be planted over by Ol' Perón up in Chacarita, I view even the most permanently seeming things as being relatively transient all things considered.

My dear aunt and uncle, that set me on this expat trail, truth be told, lived and loved in Mexico for 4 years and 364 days. So I have strong suspicions that the theory is true.

The big thing to me is: I've never heard both sides share their opinions about the experience with each other. The stayers stay and the goers go and they don't have much contact with each other after the fact.

Let's change that!